On this day, AGREEMENT_DATE, the undersigned parties hereby agree to coexist in a state of minimal chaos:

1. Bathroom Schedule:

ROOMMATE_1_NAME shall have exclusive bathroom rights from TIME_1 to TIME_2, not to exceed DURATION_1 minutes. Violations result in SILLY_PUNISHMENT_1.

2. Thermostat Control:

The apartment temperature shall remain at exactly SPECIFIC_TEMPERATURE°F. Adjustments of more than 0.5°F require a notarized petition signed by PERCENTAGE% of roommates.

3. Designated Spots:

ROOMMATE_2_NAME's "spot" on the couch shall not be sat upon by others, lest they wish to endure a DURATION_2-minute lecture on the history of seating arrangements.

4. Food Labeling Protocol:

All items in the refrigerator must be labeled with name, date, and expected consumption timeline. Failure to comply will result in said item being subject to a mock trial by a jury of stuffed animals.

5. Quiet Time Activities:

Acceptable quiet time activities include: ACTIVITY_1, ACTIVITY_2, and silent disco parties (headphones mandatory).

6. Guest Vetting Process:

All potential guests must submit a PAGE_COUNT-page application and pass a QUESTION_COUNT-question trivia test about OBSCURE_TOPIC before being granted entry.

7. Chore Wheel of Destiny:

Chores shall be assigned weekly by spinning the Chore Wheel of Destiny. Landing on "Free Pass" more than once a month is statistically improbable and grounds for investigation.

8. Emergency Protocols:

In case of UNLIKELY_EVENT, all roommates must assemble in the living room and reenact their favorite scene from CULT_CLASSIC_MOVIE.

9. Conflict Resolution:

All disputes shall be settled by a no-holds-barred game of NERDY_GAME. The loser must wear the Cone of Shame for DURATION_3 hours.

10. Amendment Process:

Changes to this agreement require a unanimous vote, to be held only during a lunar eclipse while standing on one foot.

By signing below, you acknowledge that you've read all RIDICULOUSLY_HIGH_NUMBER subsections and agree to abide by the laws of physics and this agreement, whichever is stricter.

____________________ ____________________ ____________________

ROOMMATE_1_NAME ROOMMATE_2_NAME ROOMMATE_3_NAME

Witnessed by our collection of action figures and one very confused pizza delivery person.