We, the undersigned survivors, hereby agree to the following terms of alliance in the event of a zombie outbreak:

Designated Safe House:

Our fortress against the undead shall be SAFE_HOUSE_LOCATION, henceforth known as "Fort RIDICULOUS_FORT_NAME".

Roles and Responsibilities:

SURVIVOR_1: Zombie Lookout and Pun Master

SURVIVOR_2: Weapons Expert and Sandwich Artist

SURVIVOR_3: Medic and Interpretive Dance Choreographer

Code Words:

"It's CELEBRITY_NAME time!": Signal to initiate our escape plan

"RANDOM_FOOD_ITEM": Code for "I've been bitten, tell my PET_TYPE I love them"

Approved Weapons:

Our arsenal shall include WEAPON_1, WEAPON_2, and ABSURD_ITEM (for emergencies only).

Zombie-Proof Disguises:

In dire situations, we agree to dress as UNEXPECTED_PROFESSION to confuse the undead.

Fitness Regimen:

All members must be able to outrun a SLOW_ANIMAL while carrying HEAVY_OBJECT.

Entertainment:

Movie nights are mandatory. APOCALYPTIC_MOVIE is banned for being "too realistic".

Food Rationing:

COMFORT_FOOD shall be saved for special occasions, like Tuesdays or successful decapitations.

Betrayal Clause:

Anyone caught hoarding TRIVIAL_ITEM will be banished to guard the LEAST_DESIRABLE_AREA.

Post-Apocalypse Plans:

If we survive, we agree to open a TYPE_OF_BUSINESS called "PUN_BUSINESS_NAME".

Signed in blood (or CONDIMENT, because ew, blood):

SURVIVOR_1 SURVIVOR_2 SURVIVOR_3

Witnessed by STUFFED_ANIMAL_NAME, our silent, judgmental overlord.